Christmas reflection

Going to church on Christmas Eve is usually a time of great joy for me. It's my favorite church service of the year, one that brings me peace, comfort, and a great reminder of the true meaning of Christmas.

Tonight I cried...I cried that things are not how they used to be, that I am not the person I used to be. I can no longer feel the joy of Christmas without also feeling the pain that the holidays bring to so many people. When Lauren read the Christmas prayer that acknowledged those who are homeless, my heart ached for the men and women that I serve everyday.

Singing "Silent Night" seemed hypocritical...for so many people, Christmas Eve is anything but a night when all is calm and all is bright. Even that night in the manger over 2000 years ago, when Mary and Joseph had no place to go, it probably did not seem this way either. It was impossible to sing this familiar hymn without these thoughts running through my mind.

However, one addition to this year's Christmas Eve service at my home church was that "Joy to the World" immediately followed "Silent Night." While it doesn't reduce the reality of the pain and suffering in the world, it reminds us that it is not forever. The joy of Christmas is that one day all the sorrow will be erased...

"No more let sins and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make his blessings flow far as the curse is found
Far as the curse is found, far as, far as the curse is found"

It may seem like a long way off, but if Advent teaches us anything, it is how to wait in hopeful expectation of what has been promised.

Please pray for those who are homeless and alone tonight.
Merry Christmas

Battling the Darkness

"What if anything have you and I done to do battle against the great darkness of things?"- Frederick Buechner

This statement from Buechner's daily meditation "Listening to your Life" stuck out to me when reading it last night. Lately, I have been asking myself that question too much from the perspective of despair and hopelessness.

When people ask me what I am doing this year, and I tell them that I work for a homeless ministry, too often I get responses like "Oh, that's so wonderful what you're doing!" or "That must be such rewarding work." Honestly, I don't know how to reply to these reactions. What I really want to say sometimes is "You know what? A lot of times it's not rewarding at all...it's hard and painful and heartbreaking. Too often I feel like the need is just too great."

Don't get me wrong, I still love the Campus and the values it stands for...it truly is a light to so many men and women who have no family outside of it. However, it doesn't stop me from wondering sometimes, "What am I doing to battle against the great darkness of things?"

Making a Difference

There are some days when I get frustrated because I feel like I am never going to be able to beat the endless cycle of homelessness that these men and women that I interact with have to face every single day. How much do I really help when I hand them a sinus pill or fill their prescriptions in the grand scheme of things?

But then I sit in the day room and I get to talk with people...I get to be in relationship with them, whether its learning a new card game or just talking about the Titans. When someone sincerely thanks me, just for listening to them, I remember what really matters. The most important part about my time at The Campus is building relationships with people who most of the time get overlooked. Its hearing their stories and reminding them that they, too, are children of God, full of gifts, and stories, and insights. They are valuable. Making them remember that this is true is enough to make my job completely worthwhile.

Around the World

It's so strange how much life can change in a year, particularly reflecting back on this exact weekend, the 2nd weekend in November...

*2nd weekend in November, 2007: I was in Budapest, Hungary, with Anne, exploring the great oriental markets, eating delicious Hungarian food (yum, breaded camembert), and relaxing in the Turkish bath.

*2nd weekend in November, 2008: I was in Granada and Cordoba, Spain, with Dannie, visiting the 2nd largest mosque in the world, wandering down quaint southern Spanish streets, and enjoying delicious *free* tapas.

*2nd weekend in November, 2009: I spent a relaxing weekend in Nashville, Tennessee, taking advantage of beautiful sunny weather, hanging out with my roommates, and watching some good old American football.

I'm so happy with where I am right now, and where I have been to get me to this point. However, the travel bug doesn't go away, and I am wondering how long I can suppress it before I have to jump on a plane for another adventure...

Silver lining

I have witnessed some pretty intense things over the past week at work...one of the sweetest participants I know was taken to jail because he couldn't pay his child support (how can he?!).
Two huge sheriffs came in and took him away in handcuffs, which completely broke my heart.

There was a fight that broke out later that day which resulted in another really nice guy getting hurt from a suspended participant.

I am hearing more and more about the life stories of people and how they ended up where they are today. Fascinating (to use Diana's word), and heartbreaking at the same time.

In the midst of all of these things that distress me, though, something really remarkable happened today. We serve lunch at the Campus on Thursdays to over 140 people each week. Everyone needs a ticket to eat, though, and by 10:30, they were already gone. A man walked up to me at the support desk asking about a ticket, and I had to tell him that we were out. As the man was about to walk out the door out of luck, John, another participant, called out to him to get his attention. "Here you go, man," John said to the complete stranger, and handed him his own lunch ticket without a second thought. It was a moment of God's light shining in the darkness, always when I least expect it.

Give me one more second chance again

A couple of weeks ago, we had the unique opportunity at Room in the Inn to do a special Song Writing Session. Someone donated money to allow us to participate in an event where 3 famous singer/songwriters worked with the staff, volunteers, and some participants, to create a song together about what Room in the Inn represents. The finished project was a very catchy song called "A Chance to Dream Again."

This event just intensified my love for my job this year. One line in the song that my group contributed was "Give me one more second chance again." This lyric epitomizes so many of the core values at RITI: Forgiveness, grace, non-judgment, and unconditional love for the people around us everyday.

I'm learning what it looks like to love someone even when they make the same mistakes over and over again. I see the looks of gratefulness and trust in the faces of our participants when we choose to see them as real people, and not as their problems. It's not always easy, but the most rewarding things in life usually aren't.

It gives new meaning to Jesus telling his disciples to forgive 70 times 7. It also reminds me of how much we all screw up and fall short of the mark Jesus set for us. Yet God looks at us with love, and gives us one more second chance again...and again...and again. We really are no different.

Expect the Unexpected

I was considering writing down some more of my "profound insights" about my time at Room in the Inn so far, but instead, I thought I would share just a few incidents that paint a little better picture of how unique my job really is...

*Last week, three participants were suspended because of a fight that broke out in the alley outside. The cause? Participant T grabbed Particpant A's butt. In response, she turned around and punched him the face. From there, it continued to escalate. Most of the staff believed that T kind of deserved what he got.

*Wednesday morning, Participant C came up to the support desk and asked me to write down the address for the Campus and to call him an ambulance. When I asked him why, he said that it was because he "wasn't feeling well." I explained that I couldn't call him an ambulance for that, but he could go next door to the clinic. He left in a huff, but 10 minutes later, we hear sounds of sirens outside. Participant C had convinced someone to let him borrow a cell phone and had proceeded to call himself an ambulance. The police were not so thrilled.

*Thursday, Participant X (I don't remember his name) wandered into the day room and started to put on an impressive performance of karate chops and combat moves while everyone else was watching and laughing. When we tried to pull him aside, he would just freeze into position like a robot until he started doing karate moves again. Eventually, some staff got him out of the day room and got him some help.

*Last week, Lucia (a JVC volunteer I work with), was leaving work when Participant G came up to her and said: "Oh, Lucia, you're so pretty", followed by "I hate pretty people!" and then walked off.

*Last Wednesday someone claiming to be Hank William's daughter gave us a packet about 10 pages long of song lyrics she wanted us to pass along to the song-writing class leaders, since she was going to be in Beverly Hills for the next 7-10 days. Then later that afternoon, a different woman also claimed to be Hank William's daughter. Isn't he the popular one...

Everyday is different...and inevitably, I can never fully prepare for what is going to come next...I kind of love it.

"Let me be a joy to you always"

This week has been a really good one overall. Nashville has had the most amazing fall weather all week long...sunny, cool autumn breeze, low humidity...it's just put me in a good mood. As I was driving across town to church last Sunday morning, rocking out to David Crowder with the windows down, I was so full of joy that I couldn't stop smiling. It's in moments like these that I remember something very important to my faith: God wants us to be happy. He wants us to find joy in this life that he has given us and everything in it. If we worship a God who experiences our sadness and pain right along with us, then shouldn't we also worship a God who experiences our joy and laughter? With that mind set, I can be happy that I feel happy, not only for myself, but for God as well.

One month in

Usually I am so good about writing and keeping up with what I have been up to. These past few weeks have been so busy, though, that I haven't been able to find time to write. And when I say haven't had time, I really mean that getting addicted to the tv show "Brothers and Sisters" thanks to my roommates has had some serious effect on my amount of free time...

One month ago, I was at Orientation in Stony Point. I have now been in Nashville for almost 4 weeks, and I can already say that it feels like home. I know that may sound stupid to some people because I grew up so close to Nashville that it shouldn't be much of an adjustment. However, it is more than just getting used the city that I drive through everyday, looking at the skyline with the towering Batman Building and the beautiful LP Field. My placement at the Campus, my roommates, 2nd Presbyterian...these are all parts of my life that already feel so natural that it seems like I have been here so much longer. It's a nice feeling :)

So far, I absolutely love the Campus for Human Development. My days seem to fly by. Typically, I spend my mornings at the Support Desk helping people fill prescriptions, get bus passes, hand out tylenol, etc. Just offering basis help as much as I can. I spend some time in Day Room everyday, whether its signing up people on the phone list or just playing Scrabble with participants. Throw in sorting and handing out mail, taking phone messages, and sitting in on classes, the days are over before I know it.

What I love about my job is that I share quality time with people, getting to know their names and their stories. It's only been a few weeks, and I can already feel my perspective changing. When I drive down the streets of downtown Nashville at night, I find myself looking at the faces of the men and women I see because they are no longer just nameless "homeless people"...I recognize some of those people...they know my name and I know theirs. It's a very strange experience, both disturbing and miraculous at the same time. I know it's going to get even more so as time goes on.

There's so much I could write about, but rather than make this entry ridiculously long, I will just try to update more often! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers :)

Settling into Nashville

These past two weeks can best be described as "a whirlwind." On Sunday, August 23rd, I went to Hendersonville FPC that morning before officially moving into the East Nashville house that afternoon. Early the next morning, 6 of the 8 Nashville YAV girls traveled together to Stony Point, NY for Orientation. I only got to be there for half of it, but it was incredibly refreshing and reassuring that YAV is exactly what I am supposed to be doing this year. Even within a short 5 days at Orientation, you could feel the support of the community of fellow YAVs. I felt closer to God than I had in awhile.

I took a cab to the New York airport at 6:30am on Friday, August 28th to fly to Asheville, NC, for Beth and Scott's wedding! It was a great weekend to spend with friends before heading back to Nashville and getting ready to begin my year of service.

This week in Nashville for Orientation has been busy, challenging, and exciting...full of laughter, frustration, doubt, and new experiences. Overall, though, I am so happy with how things have started out. My wonderful roommates and fellow YAVs are already becoming my family. We have shared so much with each other already, especially when 5 people live in about 1100 square feet! It's going to be a great experience, though, and I am completely confident that God is at work in this place.

We visited everyone's placement sites on Tuesday and Wednesday. Going back to Room in the Inn on Wednesday afternoon reminded me again of how many amazing ministry opportunities are going on there. I am so excited to start on Tuesday, although definitely still nervous and not quite sure what to expect...I am also wondering- will I ever?!

And the journey begins!

I am moving to Nashville tomorrow! Since my last post, I have found out some more final information about this upcoming year. First of all, I will be living in the brand new YAV House in East Nashville, on McKennie Ave. I will be sharing it with four other girls in the YAV program as well. I haven't met any of them yet, but I will tomorrow...can't wait!

It is also now official that I will be worshiping and involved in leadership at 2nd Presbyterian Church. I have never attended a service there, but everything I know about that church I love, so I could not be more excited about this placement.

I will head to Nashville with all of my stuff (which is probably too much!) tomorrow afternoon, and then we head out to Stony Point, NY, bright and early on Monday morning for YAV Orientation. I am sure I will have tons to update on very soon!

More Complete Information!

Hi everyone! You have ended up at my YAV blog because you have expressed your interest in hearing about my upcoming year of Service in Nashville. For those of you who haven't heard the full details, YAV is a program operated by the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) to send young adults ages 19-30 throughout the U.S. and internationally to serve full-time for one year. In addition to full-time volunteer ministry at a partner agency in the city, each YAV also commits to a leadership position of some kind in a local Presbyterian Church. Nashville also has a unique component of Vocational Discernment, which we do as a group, to further understand our individual callings as God's children in the world.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for me this year in Nashville working for the Campus for Human Development and also being an active participant in a church nearby (TBD)! There will be 8 Nashville YAVs this year, which is double the amount they have ever had at this site. It should be a great year for community and building relationships as well.

If you are reading this and want to know how you can help and support me this year, there are several ways you can do that!

*First of all, thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. It's going to be a challenging year, and I need all the prayer I can get!

*Secondly, telling people you know about the YAV program and sending them this link is another great way to support the entire YAV program. Share with others what great things young people in the church are accompishing!

*I am also responsible for raising half of my funds for the year. My portion is $4000, and the Presbyterian Church covers the other $4000. If you would like to contribute financially, no matter how small, it would also be very much appreciated! You can click the link above that says "GIVE SUPPORT" and turn in this form anytime during the year. Please make checks out to "Second Presbyterian Church" and send checks to the following address. Also, please include my name (Leslie Lang) on the check somewhere.

Second Presbyterian Church
Attn: NEP
3511 Belmont Blvd.
Nashville, TN 37215

Thanks for reading and supporting me! I will be updating you regularly thoughout the year about what I am up to in Nashville!

Preparing for my YAV Year

Hello! I decided to set up a blog to write about my experiences this upcoming year as a Young Adult Volunteer in Nashville. That way, everyone who wants to know what I am up to can come read this and see how your support is making a difference!

I just returned from Louisville, KY on Tuesday. Rachel (a Denver YAV) and I were there to participate in a commissioning service as representatives for all the upcoming Young Adult Volunteers. It was a really neat experience to talk to the other missionaries there, especially the ones that were previous YAVs. In fact, I met two of the first Nashville YAVs when the site started there 10 years ago! It made me really excited to get started, but also realize that there is a lot on my shoulders. Definitely needing some more time in prayer!